Promises; or, A GTMO State of Mind

mage source: http://thefabweb.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/VefRl-620x414.jpg

                                                 from Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Resolutions for the New Year----

okay, I'm lying. I don't do the whole resolution thing.

I don't like feeling like I've set myself up for failure. How many times do you find yourself disappointed in yourself that it's mid-January and you've already gone off the rails?

So I promise (not "resolve") to live life.

I promise to enjoy everything in the moment. Living here has made me realize that I really have no control over the future. I've always been a planner and a dreamer, and I still dream, but I also need to slow down and enjoy here and now.

Having a child who seemingly overnight became a young adult, a senior planning for college and for leaving the nest, has made me slow down and enjoy the precious moments under one roof.

This past year has taught me that you don't get any do-overs, so you have to make it count.

And even if it isn't what you expected or planned, sometimes it's just as good (or even better).

Transferring to a less stressful location has been a goal of the last 2 years. However, I have no control over if and when we move elsewhere. We lived in Texas for 10 years, Washington for 5, and now Cuba is number 3 with four years. We are peripatetic people, probably a little more restless than most, and my husband's time in Texas is the longest he's lived anywhere ever.

Instead of focusing on leaving a stressful place, I'm working on figuring out how to do away with some of the stress.

from Walden

We're still making plans for the future, of course, but only for what we can control at this moment. And what really can you control? Not much, right?

So we're planning out our summer vacation, making sure those college applications/essays/forms/fees are sent off on time, and enjoying life in the slow lane.

The last two weeks have been a frenzy of parties, get-togethers, and gatherings. I said goodbye to one colleague, and will probably greet new ones in January. Nothing is permanent here; unlike some other overseas locations, you can't live in GTMO forever. (That doesn't stop people who really love it here from trying!)

I have found that for me, friendships in GTMO also require some balancing between the groups of people who love it here, and those who can't wait to get out. It's a challenging place to work and live, especially if you are a mere civilian. This place is sort of a state of mind, as well. Many people view this place as a prison (no irony intended), and they feel trapped here. Island fever is a real thing, and how you deal with it I guess says a lot about your state of mind, as well. For the handful of us living here without an end date, it's especially tough. You can't really plan, and (with apologies to Tom Petty) the waiting is the hardest part.

It's tempting to wallow in self-pity, and we all slip up and go there sometimes, but then I try to pick myself up and remember that this (GTMO, the four of us living under one roof, life in general) is temporary. So I promise to live life in 2016, thinking about the future but not obsessing over it, working more on what I can control and less on what I can't, and remember that the company I keep determines my own state of mind, as well.

Happy 2016, everyone! XO