Sometimes it's just for a few minutes; other times it's for an hour. I love that GTMO finally got decent internet and we can talk. I love that he wants to talk about seeing Guernica (best anti-war art ever) or telling me about a lecture in class or describing the friends he's met from all over the world. And last weekend, he called to proudly tell me that he was repairing a hole in his favorite pants. This from a child I could have handed a sewing kit a few months ago, and he would have promptly handed it back to me.
As he repaired his pants with a sewing kit he bought at a thrift store and we talked about the subtleties of sewing (using a needle threader, how to end your stitches, basically one of a million things I should have taught him before he left for college), I was so proud of him.
I love that he got out of here and he is living in another country, learning another language and experiencing another culture. This is what I wanted for him when I accepted this job, and I am glad he is actually getting to do it, and as a bonus, getting to go where he wants to go.
Speaking of experiencing cultures and getting out of here---I'm also anxiously awaiting to hear some news. But I'm not going to talk about that at all.
What I am going to talk about is the fact that I am an addict. True confession time. I am addicted. . . to school.
In fact, I'm currently taking college classes (again). I know, WHY?
Well. . . I miss my kid (even with the fun phone calls) and I most days I am OVER dealing with little things that have become big things here. I'm tired of inefficiency and inconsistency and simple things like a lack of Coke products or sour cream. I'm tired of the same small stretch of road and the 2 hours it takes to get ready and then clean up from going to the beach for 45 minutes. I'm just tired, y'all. I've even started taking naps when I get home from school because. . . I am tired.
I have many factors causing horrific anxiety in my life. I'm working on ways to get better, but it's a process. Part of it is doing things that make me feel in control.
In the most stressful times in my class, I buckle down and sign up for a few classes because I LOVE SCHOOL. It seems counterintuitive and rather self-destructive, right?
Taking classes brings order in times of chaos and in times of uncertainty. There are deadlines. They are strict. It's college, dammit, so I can't turn things in any old time and get credit. It's the real world. And because it's online, it's totally anonymous and I don't have to make awkward small talk or ever wear real clothes. I'm in boxers shorts, eating yogurt and drinking coffee and learning about linguistics, because linguistics is sexy, y'all. Noam Chomsky rocks my socks.
And I'm not taking one but two grad classes. One is linguistics---seriously something I would love to have a degree in if I could just figure out what to do with it---and the other class is a methods of ESL in Math classes, because I haven't taken a math class in over 20 years and I need to use that part of my brain. And because I'm probably a little crazy.
And also because taking classes actually relaxes me. I get my highlighters and markers (god, I love school supplies) lined up, and I do all the little critical reading strategies I've taught my students for years. Marginalia makes me happy.
If all goes as planned, I will be a TESOL certified teacher by summer.
And why does this matter?
I love teaching English, but it's no longer my bliss---that boat sailed and sank YEARS ago.
Now I am forward thinking. I am working towards a reward somewhere. Maybe it will be teaching ESL with DoDDS, maybe it will be an ESL career somewhere else at some other time. Who knows. I loved the year I taught it at EF school on the Evergreen State College campus in Olympia, WA. That was one low-pressure, high reward job. My students thanked me at the end of every class. Yes, teacher friends, THEY THANKED ME. Seriously. If you aren't a teacher and people thank you for doing your job, you are lucky. It just doesn't happen much in teaching.
I'm hoping I can reap the rewards all of the classes I have taken and certifications I have added since moving here.
First-I am reading this after work and am in bed about to take a nap because I AM TIRED!
ReplyDeleteSecond-I'm doing the school thing too. Apparently, 4 degrees isn't enough so I've signed up for CIS classes to understand the back end of networking, blahblahblah.
There's something so satisfying about completing a task and getting a grade. It doesn't happen often while adulting. Have fun learning!
Yes! There is something completely satisfying about checking off an assignment and meeting a deadline, and then getting rewarded for it. I wish my students were as enthusiastic about the whole process as I am. ;)
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